It’s been a while since I wrote a blog post, it’s been a while since I shown my true feelings and it’s been a while since anybody really knew what was going on.
In all honesty, I’ve wanted to write for a while but I was embarrassed I gave up my 365 days of happiness challenge. I was embarrassed that there was something else I gave up on. I was embarrassed no body would read… but none of that matters anymore.
I’ve noticed I say something alot. ‘If I pretend I’m okay, it will be right?’ I say this to other people, I say this inside my own head.
Do you ever ask yourself, what’s wrong with me? Why does nobody think I’m normal? Why why why. There’s so many questions but no body to ever answer them. Until I realised I’m the person who has the power to create my own answers.
Nobody has the power to tell me I’m not normal. Nobody has the power to change my mood unless I let them. Nobody has the power to change my opinion because I have my own mind. Nobody has the power to change my life apart from me.
Some things have happened recently that has shown me what true strength looks like and it’s hard to say, but I’m far from that. When everything is in perspective and the overthinking stops, you realise that there is somebody else battling with mental health too.
Although things might not be how I planned out this year would be but im still here. and I’m battling everyday. when I don’t want to get out of bed, when I don’t want to laugh any more, when I don’t want to pretend anymore. I’m still here.
All I can do is continue to be the best version of myself that I can. and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
Until next time..
I.S
365 Days Of Happiness 
It’s been a while is a great piece of autobiographical lyricism by Stain’d. It tells of a process completed and reflected upon. In the same way your admission to being embarrassed, whilst understandable, is not the correct adjective one should use to describe how we feel when we don;t hit the targets we set for ourselves. You set yourself a challenge, a very difficult one. On this occasion it didn’t materialise. You have many 365s in front of you, so as yet, it is challenge one, IS to be determined. Consider the common thread shared by those people who achieve in life. Is it money? Power? Connections? Genius? More likely the denominating factor is determination. Plain old stickability. Developing that characteristic takes time, so endure. Good to see you writing again, regardless of setbacks.
LikeLike